Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

489 - ‘You need to look up the difference between mincemeat and minced meat. Merry focking Christmas’

Komedi

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More episodes

489 - ‘You need to look up the difference between mincemeat and minced meat. Merry focking Christmas’

Fri, 08 Dec 2023
488 - ‘I’ve never even cleaned up my own children’s vomit, I’m not mopping up after some randomer’

Fri, 01 Dec 2023
487 - ‘Sneaking around behind my wife’s back is something I’m very, very good at, in fairness to me’

Fri, 24 Nov 2023
486 - I wake up on Sunday morning thinking, am I having one of my famous erotic dreams?

Fri, 17 Nov 2023
485 - Sorcha is like me before every Ireland squad announcement – in other words, focking delusional

Fri, 10 Nov 2023
484 - ‘When I close my eyes at night, I can still see that bird’s horrible, leering face’

Fri, 03 Nov 2023
483 - ‘Sorcha, I honestly don’t think we can just saunter in here like nothing has happened’

Fri, 27 Oct 2023
482 - ‘Ross, this is all your fault, you sniggering halfwit - that daughter of yours has been going wrong since the day she was born’

Fri, 27 Oct 2023
481 - ‘Ross, didn’t you get a present of an All Blacks jersey once and use it to wash the cor?’

Fri, 13 Oct 2023
480 - ‘What does being Johnny Sexton’s hype man involve exactly, Dad?’

Fri, 06 Oct 2023
479 - ‘I’ve never seen Sorcha so upset - and given my record as a husband, that’s a genuine achievement’

Fri, 29 Sep 2023
478 - ‘Dad, you need to ask yourself what do you want to be – a rugby fan or a good father?’

Fri, 22 Sep 2023
477 - Some things are more important than family. Rugby happens to be one of them

Tue, 19 Sep 2023
476 - ‘There’s no caps for your so-called matches against Mexico and, I don’t know, Guava Larva. I made the entire thing up’

Fri, 08 Sep 2023
475 - ‘It turns out that every single vehicle in the Mount Anville cor pork has had its tyres done. Except one’

Fri, 01 Sep 2023
474 - ‘A chap taught me how to hot-wire a cor this morning,’ the old man goes

Fri, 25 Aug 2023
473 - I’m no stranger to seeing my old man standing in the dock accused of serious crimes

Fri, 18 Aug 2023
472 - Camino Royale: the final exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book

Thu, 17 Aug 2023
471 - Camino Royale: the second exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O'Carroll-Kelly book

Wed, 16 Aug 2023
470 - Camino Royale: an exclusive excerpt from the new Ross O’Carroll-Kelly book

Tue, 15 Aug 2023
469 - ‘Honor, there has to be a better way of trying to save the planet than this’

Sat, 12 Aug 2023
468 - Dude, you’re not allowed to just, like, shoot seagulls

Fri, 04 Aug 2023
467 - Father and son. From the same city. And we might as well be a donkey talking to a parrot

Fri, 28 Jul 2023
466 - ‘We caught the so-called SUV avenger tonight, in the actual act!’

Fri, 14 Jul 2023
465 - People like us don’t get embarrassed. That’s how we’ve ended up where we are in life

Fri, 07 Jul 2023
464 - ‘What if the SUV Avenger turned out to be your daughter, Sorcha?’

Fri, 30 Jun 2023
463 - The SUV Avenger has slashed the tyres on Sorcha’s cor

Sat, 24 Jun 2023
462 - ‘Bloomsday is God’s way of telling middle class people they have too much time on their hands’

Fri, 16 Jun 2023
461 - There’s nothing like the school sports day to get the old competitive juices flowing

Fri, 09 Jun 2023
460 - ‘I want to have – oh my God – everything done?’ Honor goes. ‘My chin, my nose, my forehead, my lips’

Fri, 02 Jun 2023
459 - ‘What does Patrick Kielty have that I don’t?’ asks the old dear

Fri, 26 May 2023
458 - The old man is a focking embarrassment at rugby matches

Sat, 20 May 2023
457 - The two of them are staring at me like this is the worst thing I’ve ever done. It’s not even in the top 10

Fri, 12 May 2023
456 - Honor says Joshua just wants to be friends. Better than nothing I say, but I hate lying to the girl

Fri, 05 May 2023
455 - I’m the father of a 15-year-old girl. I think, by this stage, I’ve earned the right to embarrass her?

Fri, 28 Apr 2023
454 - ‘I’ve been polyamorous since the late 1990s’

Fri, 21 Apr 2023
453 - Here we are on the roof of the house, vaping away to our horts’ content

Fri, 14 Apr 2023
452 - The old dear arrives at the door, smelling like a distillery tour, asking to see her granddaughters

Tue, 11 Apr 2023
451 - We’re a father and daughter vaping away to beat the band, properly bonding

Fri, 31 Mar 2023
450 - I’m 43. Andy Farrell would want to be pretty focking desperate for a 10 to pick me

Mon, 27 Mar 2023
449 - What a day . . . I’ll just send a quick congrats text to Johnny Sexton

Tue, 21 Mar 2023
448 - Girls, if Johnny Sexton was here, he’d tell you – you are never, ever beaten

Fri, 17 Mar 2023
447 - Now I’m doing something that I never do, doubting myself

Fri, 10 Mar 2023
446 - I want this school to be a conveyor belt of women’s rugby talent

Fri, 03 Mar 2023
445 - I’ve ended up on a poster for adult incontinence treatment on a gable wall in, like, Ranelagh

Fri, 24 Feb 2023
444 - I’m getting the tattoo of J-Lowe, a late 40th birthday present to myself

Fri, 17 Feb 2023
443 - One day, there’s going to be a Leinster Schools Senior Cup… for girls!

Fri, 10 Feb 2023
442 - I’m surrounded by people who keep me grounded. I wish they’d focking stop

Fri, 03 Feb 2023
441 - Sixmas is what I call the Six Nations Championship – the most wonderful time of the year

Mon, 30 Jan 2023
440 - Would I have to take my top off for any of these jobs? That wouldn’t be an issue for me

Fri, 20 Jan 2023

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